Week 40. Pregnancy the last 34 hours?

34 hours till Hospital

 Well...it seems I am nearing the end of being pregnant for this time around. So many things I wonder..and I wonder if every about to be mother wonders them...
There are the normal pondering's of what he will look like...what kind of person he will be.
But I find myself wondering a lot if he will be healthy...
Here in America around 20 weeks they want to test to see if your baby will have Down Syndrome...I always say no because I strongly object to the process and the thinking that is often behind it.
No matter what our baby is I will love him dearly I know...
But the truth which I feel wicked even thinking is...I hope he doesn't have it.
And I cannot say it is for his sake because I don't think it has any bearing on the kind of life that little one will lead.
The children/people who have it and their parents love them seem more incredibly happy then "normal" people in my opinion.
So I confess it is entirely for my own selfish sake I wish for a "normal" child.
I know it would be more difficult then I can imagine to have a special needs little one.
But what if one day I do?
Will I have the strength in me to see the wonder of God's creation or will I see someone broken like so many in this world?
I don't know...and that scares me.
It scares me to think that I could someday have a baby and remotely have it even cross my mind if it would have better to abort it.
Such a wicked wicked thing it is.
Dear Lord, I pray you will help me see all our children through your eyes and not through the eyes of a normal human.

Tomorrow is my due date...and Monday I will most likely be induced. This phase of life is coming to an end...this 2nd pregnancy. I wonder how many more times I will be pregnant..sometimes I want 8+ children....sometimes 5 and sometimes I think two will be hard enough to handle...

Ariana is having trouble sleeping tonight. I explained to her she has to go to sleep so I can wake her up early and get her ready for Sunday School and church and she was so delighted she wanted to hold her Bible in bed. She is happily leafing through it while she lays in bed now. I love that little lady!

24 hours until hospital

It's just about time to wake Ariana up for Sunday School.
My list for the last three days of pregnancy is completed.
Now my 3 day hospital list comes into effect.
Some of the things have to be done before I go in and some while I am there.
Last night Robert and I watched the first half of the "Fellowship of the Ring".
It's been awhile...I love Lord of the Rings so much.

20 hours until hospital

Ariana is not back yet from church and Sunday School...I am so tired right now. Robert stayed home and kept me company.
And the odd pre-birth thought topics continue.
I have spent the morning researching birth control and multiple births.
Once a women naturally conceived 12 babies!
Wow...
None of them survived...
Can you imagine that though?
Supposing you had basically already had the amount of children you wanted save one and then you actually did have 12 healthy babies. Wowsiers!
You could potentially beat the Duggars overnight.
I would like multiples at some point...but if I ever do I wonder how many it will be?
I am also extremely interested in the genetic codes...what will children look like?
Such as eye color...etc...
so interesting to think about.

18 hours until hospital

Ariana is spending sometime with Poppy and Gigi this afternoon. I made hotdogs and mac and cheese for lunch and we finished the "Fellowship of the Ring".
I also fed the cats and did some laundry. I am working on my 3 days in the hospital list. Some of it is for while I am there and some for right beforehand which is what I am working on today.

14 hours until hospital

I just took a deliciously long nap. I am very puffy swollen feeling now though. bleh! And I want chocolate.

10 hours until hospital

Supper is done.
Ariana is in bed.
Robert is napping.
The cats are fed.
The dishes are done.
The laundry is done.
The house is mostly clean.
My birthing bag and backup stuff are in order.
We are all refreshed and clean.
I am getting the eve of an adventure excitement now-you know before you go on a trip and you realize everything is ready...save for those final things as you walk out the door.
Nothing is left to do but look forward to what is coming.
The excitement is rampant at this point.
That is how I feel right now.
I am not sure what to do for the next 10 hours...I doubt I will be able to sleep much...

Well..I may possibly post once more before going in but for now...goodnight everyone!