It's all in the Details

Okay...
We have established that I am pregnant.
And hormonal and all that jazz.
Well today which again probably won't be that uplifting but it will be true I am going to further discuss my moodiness.
When I was younger I cared very little for the news...for politics...or anything outside of the comfortable world I lived in. If it didn't effect me as directly as ruining something particular I wanted to do...it just didn't matter.
The change from this has been very gradual.
Lately however...I find I care about these things a LOT. Even to the point of seeming strange to some of those close to me.
Suddenly the prices of gas, the person running the country, deviations from the Constitution, possible recession or civil war...these things are very personal to me. And I cannot get enough news about it all.
I cannot imagine not caring anymore...and those who don't I do not understand.
I think all of this is in part from my long time love of the book of Revelation and end of time. With all that is happening it seems nearer then ever. And while this thrills me I have also realized lately...I am a very fearful person.
Afraid of all this would or will mean if those things come to pass soon...
In my mind I do know that God will care for me and all...
But I am still afraid of the violence that is likely is these things occur soon.
And while I trust God will care for us and supply our needs...that doesn't mean we have to be comfortable.
I have also realized lately...somewhat from comments of those who know me...how much details matter to me. But those details-do they matter? really and truly? And if they details don't matter and I care so much about them what does that say about me? I feel as those the foundations of me are going through an earthquake of challenge, doubt and reexamination and right now the outcome is still unclear...
So if you have time...say a prayer for the crazy pregnant lady.