Birthdays and such.

Today I am tired and yet when I laid down to sleep thoughts continued running through my mind. Something I ponder a lot is why on Birthdays and Holidays...times when you should be so very happy, often a sense of gloom presides.

I know before I was married Valentines Day was my least favorite because it seemed so unbearably lonely. Now I look forward to going on a date with my Hubbers.

After much thinking I have concluded in my case-for birthdays it is because of a memory of delightful birthdays as a child which make me have an overall expectation of what it should feel like on that day. My family always came in while you were still sleeping with a birthday cake (which you picked the flavor and pan for) lit with candles and sang to you to wake you up. Then you opened presents and had cake. Later that day you would go to Toys R Us and pick one special present and then you got to pick where to eat out. I know pizza hut and a personal pan was often my choice. =)

Some of the particular birthdays I remember are my 9th...I was given two cat blankets and my very first camera. And a kitten card with a pineapple sniff sticker. Two weeks later we moved to Latvia. I remember my delight over the camera still.

My 10th birthday was in Latvia which I only know my cake was a torte, my hair was CRAZY in the pictures, and we went to Lady and the Tramp in the theater which was my first movie ever.

We lived in Montana during my 12th birthday and I think we had just been to Canada for dentist stuff that day and on the way home we stopped and bought my second camera! This one zoomed! I was delighted.

For 13 we were canadating in Harlan and that is actually the day we found out we were moving from Montana. That was not happy to me. I know I also got four of the Daring Adventure books that day.

I really don't remember any details from the next six birthdays other then we went from normal cakes to ice cream cakes! Yum! And I think we had a birthday party at Pizza Hut for my 14th.

My 20th birthday was actually my fondest memories of a birthday thus far...leading up to it was really sad for me. My sister had gotten married over Christmas and lived overseas. My oldest brother was married in the springtime and moved away. My other brother left for college. My Dad was going to be in Pennslyvania with my Grandma for a family reunion. One of my best friends, Alex, was in Chicago. That sounded horribly lonely to me...Although my Mom is amazing at making your birthday special.

This birthday made me cry though...because in spite of it all everyone remembered me. Before he left for college me, Matthew and Dad went on a longgggggggggg bike ride to fulfill a birthday wish. Elizabeth sent me a lovely shirt she knew I had longed for in Latvia. Abe sent me the sweetest brotherly letter of all time. My Mom had a ice cream cake! yummy! Alex got me an awesome shirt from Chicago. And my Dad got special cable for the week so that me and my other bestie, Amanda, could watch the Flight 29 Down movie when it aired on tv! And then Matthew had ordered a whole arrangement of blue flowers for me. There is a whole story, from the best series ever-which some of you know-about the significence of blue flowers but anyways, they made me cry. So Amanda came over after me and my Mom had celebrated a bit and we made videos and did all sorts of crazy things all day-and night long. It was awesome.

My 21st we were on vacation and hiking in Glacier...in the course of that day it rained, sleeted and snowed. All while we were hiking. Then we ate at the resturant in the park and I got a couple cozy hoodies and the sweetest stuffed animal bear.

My 23rd was a surprise party at the Swensens after a meal at Victoria Station. My 24th Robert and I went to...A&W drive in and ate. I don't remember 25th to well...hmmm......

So why am I thinking about something over eight months away? I am not entirely sure...I do know it is partly because next year is my golden birthday and I think a lot about that. I am really excited and I guess I wonder what makes the day special.....and more memorable then all the rest?